Weekly Letter from the Pastor

Dear Fellow Parishioners of St. Benedict:

One of the most poignant and difficult times of our lives is dealing with the passing of a loved one. Often times, we are lost. It is not uncommon that when speaking with the surviving spouse or children in a hospital room after death has occurred that I am asked the question: “what do we do now?” I then gently walk them through the process of calling a funeral home and explaining to them what will happen over the next several days. I also encourage them, especially if the death was sudden, to seek grief support counseling or therapy after the funeral rites have ended. I often remind families during the funeral homily that the period of mourning only really begins after the funeral. The days leading up to the funeral are filled with a variety of emotions, but it is only when everyone else’s lives return to normal, and we are left alone with the presence-of-the-absence of the loved one in our homes and lives, that it becomes real.

Increasingly we are asked to conduct what is called a Funeral Service Outside of Mass for the deceased. To be honest, it is not infrequent that the service is for someone who has been long away from faith, but the family still needs the sense of comfort and consolation of having a Catholic service. Usually one of the deacons conducts these services, though occasionally either Father JM or I do so as well. Even more unsettling is when the request is solely for the committal at the cemetery or mausoleum. What we seldom or perhaps never become aware of, is the person for whom no funeral rites are ever conducted. The body is shipped off to a crematorium and then the ashes are either scattered, or sit at home on the mantle indefinitely.

It is especially painful – dare I use that emotional term – to us here when any of the above scenarios occur for a parishioner who was very active in church and regularly attended Mass and received the sacraments.

A funeral Mass is the right and obligation of the baptized. We read an account of the actions of Judas Maccabee in the Second Book of Maccabees: “He then took up a collection among all his soldiers, amounting to two thousand silver drachmas, which he sent to Jerusalem to provide for an expiatory sacrifice. In doing this he acted in a very excellent and noble way, inasmuch as he had the resurrection in mind; for if he were not expecting the fallen to rise again, it would have been superfluous and foolish to pray for the dead. But if he did this with a view to the splendid reward that awaits those who had gone to rest in godliness, it was a holy and pious thought. Thus he made atonement for the dead that they might be absolved from their sin.” (2 Mac 12: 43-46)

The Catechism of the Catholic Church offers the following (680): All the sacraments, and principally those of Christian initiation, have as their goal the last Passover of the child of God which, through death, leads him into the life of the Kingdom. Then what he confessed in faith and hope will be fulfilled: ‘I look forward to the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come.’” And especially (684): “The Christian funeral is a liturgical celebration of the Church.

The ministry of the Church in this instance aims at expressing efficacious communion with the deceased, at the participation in that communion of the community gathered for the funeral, and at the proclamation of eternal life to the community.”

In a sense, when we are baptized we become part of a larger family, that of the church. Hence, the church, as the principles of the family, celebrates the funeral, and not just the immediate family.

Similarly, regardless of our own feelings and situations, to not have a funeral is in a way to deny death, to deny the hope of resurrection, and in a sense to dishonor the memory, the life, and the faith of the loved one.

Burial, in blessed ground, is also essential to our belief in the resurrection. We are a people of hope and promise. To leave ashes sitting around, or to simply dispose of them haphazardly, is disrespectful. Many people take greater care of the disposition of the ashes of their pets than of their families. This is unconscionable.

I encourage each of you to speak with your families about the Funeral Mass and the disposition of your remains. I also encourage you to prearrange your funeral, specifying that a funeral Mass is to be celebrated. This is your right – indeed more than a right – it is a religious obligation no less serious than baptism or marriage. You might even leave money in your estate to insure the celebration of Masses for your intentions after you are deceased.

As we approach November and the month of All Souls. Let us be mindful of those who have gone before us. Remember also, that someday this will be each of us, and we need to make provisions that we are treated in death as noble children of God and as members of the Body of Christ.

Let us pray for one another,
Fr. Garry